without Mother---Heavenly Mother

You called us who wonder in dark world without hope

and make us as the children of God.

    Whenever we think of this amazing blessing

    We cannot stopping give thanks to our Father Christ Ahn sahng hong and HeavenlyMother

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I suppose it was sometime on my first grade in elementary school. Living close by my school, I happened to move further away from it. It wasn’t that far, but I guess as an elementary student it felt that way. When I lived close by, I usually ran to it afterschool, and mom was ready with delicious supper.

On the first day we moved in, forgetting the promise that mom would pick me up after school, searching my memory, I finally reached my new place. Surely the sun was setting when I came out of school, but when I reached home, one by one; stars were showing up on the night sky.

But, what’s the matter? Usual supper, under a warm light wasn’t welcoming me, but there stood a padlocked dark house. Father frequently came home rather late, so I tried to find mom. She always waited for me around this time, but where is she? I didn’t even have a mind of stepping in the empty house, without mom.

With a child’s mind, I had a scary thought that I lost my mom, and tears welled up in my eyes. And wasn’t this place unfamiliar, a new resident? I called mom out loud, but there was no reply. The feeling that I had that time… Breathtaking fear, only pitiful tears were running down my face. It wouldn’t have been that scary even if I lost this whole world.
I started to head back the way I came. I thought that I would go anywhere, even stay up all night to find her. I couldn’t stand a moment with a whole heart of finding Mom. Even a fearsome passerby’s shadow was nothing to me. There I was; walking in the dark, straining my eyes, calling mom, even in a small sense.
‘Where is she? I didn’t have supper yet… Did something happen? What should I do without her? I can’t go to school, can’t do nothing! Please come back, mom! I’m scared, mom!’
Trembling with fear, crying, I walked up to the corner of a large road with a streetlamp. That was it. Over the streetlamp’s light, faraway at a glance, mom’s familiar form came to me.
“It’s Mom. Mom!”
Truly it was heartrending; the joy of finding Mom, and the feeling of relief that I didn’t lose her. Suddenly something burning filled up my throat and muted me. I roughly cried and ran straight to Mom and embraced her.
Mom was really surprised when she came to pick me up at school. Hearing from my classmates that I went home ahead of her, she wondered why I would not keep the promise and go alone. She was coming back worrying that I might have lost the way finding the new place we moved in.
But Mom scolded me that she was surprised seeing me plodding alone on the dark road. Whatever she said, at that time, just seeing her again gave me a feeling of regaining this whole world.
I think about that day again. Now, I think I know why I feared and trembled so much with a thought that I might have lost my mom. That fear and trembling I had when I thought I lost my mom was a fearful thought of me losing my Heavenly Mother in Heaven.
Meeting Heavenly Mother, I could thoroughly feel the warmth and boundlessness of mother’s love. Knowing well enough that Her child could not live a moment without Mother, she came all the way down, straight from heaven to the earth to find us. With a warm smile, she gives us comfort. She is our Heavenly Mother.
In my childhood, just like a house without Mom would feel chilly, wouldn’t heaven without Heavenly Mother be just like that? I realize, the place with Mother would only be the place to rest my soul. Now that I know that I am an existent who cannot live a moment without Heavenly Mother, I engrave in my heart that the place where Mother goes is precisely the place where I must go.
Just like me, I feel so sad thinking of spiritual brothers and sisters wandering in the dark, looking for Heavenly Mother. Let us quickly find our lost heavenly family and enjoy the happiness with Mother, forever and ever!